A Game of Horomones, OkCupid Experiments…

Avoid the urge to spy on your significant other. This includes the above example.  Don’t go through their phones, their emails or anything! This is the surest way to tank your relationship and drive you nuts in the process. Respect each others’ privacy. Don’t listen in on phone calls or other conversations.  This is just as bad as going through a person’s social network sites and such. You could see yourself getting upset over nothing as you’re only hearing one part of a conversation. Just because your significant other spends time with their friends and not you doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about you.  This one is important to keep in check from the outset.

  People need space and couples need their friends and to spend time alone with them.  People in a relationship still need their individuality, in my opinion; it’s healthy!imlive web cam Don’t be afraid to trust your special someone.  Often, issues can come up with a relationship because couples can’t trust one another; they’re afraid to.  Trust is the backbone of any successful relationship.  Where trust is absent heart ache thrives. Think before you act.  This one seems like it’s academic, second nature really.  However, many of us are quick to answer something; a “shoot first and ask questions later” mentality.  This behavior can sink a relationship pretty quickly, too, even before they’ve had a chance to begin.

  I remember dating a gal once and while she was pretty awesome, she just seemed to want to “push the action” and when I wasn’t responsive to it she called things off with me, which was premature.  Shit happens though, does it not?  Think before you do. No one wants to be the jealous type.  I mean, I don’t consider myself to be the jealous sort.  I’d like to think that many people are not genuinely those who grow jealous easily. With respect to relationships it is critical to ignore those “little” temptations that can take you, in one bad decision, into that jealous personality type you’ve always loathed. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Dating & Relationships, Opinion Tagged in: Dating, how to, jealousy, Relationships Most of the people who go through a break up don’t have proper ideas about how to get their ex back. So sometimes they do things that just push them away from their ex. That’s why in many cases they can’t get together even they want to. If you are just gone through a break up and now want your ex back, here are top 10 approaches to get your ex back: 1. Give your ex some space: 1st and most important rule is “don’t call or meet your ex in a month after the happening”. Both of you need some time to cope with the situation.

Keep in mind that you two have gone through a break up and your ex is probably irritated. So if you try to communicate so soon, it will get worse. 2. Rely on your close people: Don’t push yourself away from your close friends and family member. You can get some real help from them. Share your feelings with them. This will prevent you to do something foolish. They will surely help you to cope with the situation while making the right decision. Can’t leave behind the pain of break up? Go out with friends, enjoy their company.

You will surely feel better. 3. Prepare yourself for the challenge: Getting back your ex is the most challenging fact for you now. So get prepared to face it. Don’t just live with sorrows. This is not going to help. Do self care and get better than ever. Get fit and be conscious about your outlook. This will increase your self esteem. Picture your ex’s reaction after seeing you so great and perfect. Make your ex feel sorry for not being with you. 4. Go for slight contact: After sometime, you can start with a casual text like “how are you”. This will remind him/her of you. No call, no meet, you can write casual things at Facebook but not at public. 5. Don’t try to play games: This often happens any particular one date with new people just to make his/her ex jealous. Guess what this is not good for you.

This will make your ex think that breaking up with you was the right choice. So avoid this type of games. 6. Don’t push your ex to come back: Giving your ex endless calls and texts, begging for coming back- these can’t actually do any good. It just irritates your ex little more. Better is show respect to his/her decision. This creates a good impression on your partner. 7.topadultreview.com Give causes to think about you again: Prove yourself to your ex that you have changed and you’re willing to fix all problems.

The Bruery Gives a Cold One to the Urban Dater

Start with simple matters like leave those attitudes what your partner didn’t like. Be the nice one and show the result. 8. Don’t speak anything stupid: Don’t say anything that will air up the fire.

Think before doing anything. Don’t talk anything negative about your ex to his/her friends and family. Show that you still respect your ex. 9. Go for an apology: At this step you can go for an apology. Apologize for your mistakes while making your partner believe that it comes from your heart. Probably in that case, you will get an apology from your ex too. 10. Express your interest: This is the final step to get your ex back. Let your ex know that you still love him/her and want to set up everything so that you two can get together again.

This part can be a little tough. So make a super plan about how you should express your feelings to your ex partner.   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook7Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: get your ex back, get your ex girlfriend back If you decided to date someone in the longer term, it’s easy to get caught up in what will be as opposed to accessing what’s happening in the present. People may be inclined to jump on ship on something that might be a semblance of what they think will be best for them. They blur all the red flags as to fulfill that dream that they’re the exception. But instead, you need to ask yourself more often, “Am I the rule?” Because sticking to the present and understanding the rules will bring you closer to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling reality. Here are 11 tell-tale signs that you are the rule, not the exception. The meetings between you two are sporadic & spotty. Quantity matters as quality. The number of meetings should increase in the future and the caliber of your quality time is important as well. Not just “Netflix & chill”(s) or simply “going out.” There should be room for more formal settings (from plays to banquet dinners to concerts to sporting events to friend meet-ups to weddings). Invitations to understanding your personality/character/inner soul are either ignored or skimmed over.

Superficial details clutter your relationship and forgo your supposed connection with this person. Time, money, emotions, actions, or words are being put in emptily. Because the investment comes from place of convenience. If it’s convenient for the person to talk about their feelings because they want to be comforted, then it’s nothing special. Similar goes, if he’s rich or free during the summer, or a smooth, smooth talker. You differ in every of the following: communication styles, passions, humor/disposition, conflict-resolution, core values, lifestyle, and long-term/short goals. If you both speak similar intuitive or perceptive language, it’s a lot easier for things to flow. And it’s lot easier if the going gets rough as well. It’s also just fun to have someone understand the playful you.

It’s attractive to feel invigorated. So is having the same obstacles and vision during a certain stage of life. Fighting is an opportunity to realize strong differences instead of seeking and embracing similarities (and relating to each other). Whenever, I fought with this guy, we would just try to impose others’ opinions on each other. I thought maybe we were being honest and that was healthy, but I didn’t realize that we were just speaking totally different languages. We did not really easily perceive the others’ problems or even attempts in resolving them. You’ll only feel cared for enough but not ever all the way. There are always lulls in every stage of dating, but there’s a totally different tone when the effort feels more forced and chore-like as opposed to willful, sincere, and warm. Games, games, and games. Hot and cold. On and off. Fight and make-up. Cycle and repeat. Just shaky, manipulative, and heady. When it’s a game from the start; it can only continue or end as a game. And no one truly wins when that happens.

Your (or their) Ego, needs, and desires are the forefront of the relationship. And sometimes, there are cases where both parties are like that and there will be a lot of friction. Sure, it may seem exhilarating. But all that blood burning isn’t passion; it’s sneakily simple contempt. Your lives are separate and going in parallel directions. There’s rarely or no interweaving of routines, plans, or goals whatsoever. Even if you get a sneak-peek, it’s all fluff or all compartmentalized so that you never get the full picture. The big ones are: friends, family, career aspirations, background, important hobbies, and personal dreams/aspirations. You (or they) are not physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, or spiritually ready to have a relationship. This goes without further elaboration. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Something is missing. You can’t easily put your finger on it. But something about this person just doesn’t make your soul ache.

Or you feel like you can’t ever be your full self with them.

The Bad Profile Pictures on Tinder

You also don’t feel appreciated. It could be as random as their quirks annoy the living h*ll out of you. It could also be how you might feel that they are too doubtful or suspicious of you just being you. In the end, you and supported as you. No shaky relationship is worth stifling the essence of who you are. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook7Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Opinion, Relationships, Self So I was recently acquainted with @myblindcupid on Twitter. They were very friendly and asking questions about social media, getting noticed and such.  Well, I typically get noticed by acting a fool, chicken head and jack ass all at the same time. I know, it’s an amazing talent.  Right?  In further looking at @myblindcupid‘s account I see a website: http://myblindcupid.com.

   Intrigued, I click… What I find is a site that hasn’t quite launched yet, but it didn’t need to, to understand the concept they were going with. You see, My Blind Cupid is a service that promotes personality, the stuff on the inside, rather than profile pictures of half naked people who tan too much and now have forehead muscles. The idea here, the message, is one that we all know.  Online dating is superficial.  We sign up with a site, build our pics and think of witty things to say, or play up how much of a catch we are.  Step two, you ask?  Easy, before you even take a look at what’s out there, you locate your search filter.  Filtering out single parents, over weight, too tall, too short, too skinny, too tragic, too whatever. The point is that you’ve effectively narrowed your dating pool in favor of your standards, while also filtering out a lot of other people with potentially amazing personalities who are probably amazing people in their own right. Personally, I’m guilty of this. I don’t feel bad about it, necessarily.  I mean, I know what I want and what I feel I deserve and that’s what I go after.  However, I’ve also done the opposite. Years ago when I was trying to find myself and started dating after a long layoff, I dated various types of women.  Women that I wouldn’t have ordinarily have dated.

  These women were either short, chain smokers, large and in charge, shaved head… I mean, I was ALL OVER the place.  Literally.  However, during that time that’s when I feel I learned the most about myself as a person.  I learned what I could deal with and not deal with but also gained perspective into myself and the people I dated. Not only that, but I dated some women that are pretty effing amazing that I’m still friends with to this day. In all, I’m pretty excited about what My Blind Cupid is going to do.  I signed up just to see, you should, too. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating, Opinion Tagged in: Online Dating, personality There are people nowadays in the world that are toxic, meaning they will never bring anything positive into a relationship, and with so many people looking for relationship advice there must be a reason. The reason is they are dating toxic people. Toxic, by definition, means poisonous. Toxic daters have become unpleasant people, and very poor romantic candidates.

as opposed to having a healthy blossoming relationship, you’ll have one that is filled with poison and misery. Written below I have listed the 3 types of toxic daters that you should be aware of while making sure to stay away from when you are dating! 1st form of toxic dater is the jealous competitor. Individuals who are jealous competitors will compete with you by interrupting you whenever you try to speak, will constantly disagree with you, and will never take your side on anything. Jealous competitors have become difficult to deal with as their aim is to always belittle you. If you are out on a date one night at a nice fancy restaurant and you notice that the whole time he/she has been talking and you haven’t been able to get one word in, this person is a toxic dater. Rapid constant speech mixed with rarely allowing someone to get a word in is a clear distinction that someone is a jealous competitor. The next form of toxic dater is the know-it-all. Know-it-alls are the types of people who always have a answer or explanation for everything you have to say. They are fundamentally closed-minded, who view their ideas, opinions and thoughts as superior to any others. Because they’re extremely insecure with themselves, their biggest fear is not having an audience to which they can show every person just how much they know! If you are out on a date one night and the person you are with always has a comeback, constantly has their arms folded or has their hands on their hips, and never has anything positive to say, stay away! These are signals that you need to keep your distance. The third form of toxic dater is the emotionless person. Individuals who are emotionless tend to never be in check with their feelings (editor’s note — we might also use “sociopath” to describe these folk).

They don’t talk much, they don’t share their opinions and so they tend to shy away from those who are very outgoing and personable. It is very hard to tell how an emotionless person is feeling because they speak very apathetically. Someone who seems to have a forced smile on their face, poor eye contact and does not tell you how they are feeling is a toxic dater. Instead, you want to date someone who is open, loving and fun which are all characteristic of someone who is filled with lively emotion. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: bad dates, dates Modern dating is unlike any other dating experience in human history. It moves fast and we have more choices than ever before. And with the rise of technology, we have the ability to communicate without having to actually speak to or look at the person. This means it’s become easier to treat people with less respect and consideration. Lack of communication is indeed common that there is a new vocabulary arising in the dating scene. Phrases like “ghosting,” “benching,” and “icing” all refer to some level of being vague and non-committal.

It’s not that we do it on purpose. It’s hard to tell someone you are not interested and it may seem easier to let the relationship slowly fade away as opposed to facing the confrontation. However, people’s feelings are at stake and you are sure to someday be on the other end of that non-existent text message. No one is immune and, until we learn better strategies for relating, people will continue to get lost in a sea of confusion. Deep down we want to be honest, we want to be compassionate, we want to connect. One of the problems is that there is no clear way to do this. No one has offered us instructions saying: “This is the healthy way to start and stop a relationship.” We would like to offer you some suggestions on how to enter and exit a relationship with integrity so that both parties feel good and able to move forward. Tip 1: Set the Intention.

you could have more control than you know the way a relationship goes? Even if it’s not a “forever” relationship you can still practice having a meaningful time together. Setting an intention essentially means reflecting on what you would like out of the relationship. This doesn’t have to be anything major. It can be something as simple as “My intention is to have fun” or “My intention is to be present during our time together.” You can do this just for yourself, or, if your date is open to it, set the intention together. Here is a sample intention setting ritual: • Discuss the idea of intention setting with your date. Say that you are practicing conscious relating and would like to set a tone for your time together. • If you both agree to set intentions, take a moment to sit across from each other while making eye contact. Reflect on your intention and then take turns to voice them out loud. “My intention is to enjoy our time together, for however long that may be.” Or, “My intention is to learn and grow from each other.” By saying these things out loud, you will get a sense of where each of you is coming from and will create a great start to your relationship. Tip 2: Practice open communication. Open and honest communication is perhaps one of the hardest things to do. Even in long term committed relationships, research has shown that two out of three couples live with an underlying sense of dishonesty. Fear is the main reason why we are not open – fear of not being loved, of getting hurt or of being rejected. Learning how to communicate in a healthy way takes practice and a willingness to be vulnerable despite our fear.

Here’s an example on how to practice open communication: • Use “I” statements. If the person you are dating does something that irritates you, as opposed to saying “you always do that!” try saying “I feel frustrated when you act in that way.” Taking responsibility for our reactions is the first major step in open communication. • Share your fears. It’s ok to say “I’m afraid of getting too close” or “I’m afraid of missing out on other people.” When you make yourself vulnerable you may well be surprised to find that your date has many of the same fears. This will only bring you closer. Tip 3: Creating a clear and respectful end. Have you decided it is time to end a relationship? Fading into the background or totally cutting off communication may seem like the easiest thing to do but has long-term consequences. If you have been practicing open communication throughout your relationship, you will find it is easier to say goodbye to your partner knowing the reasons why. You will have already aired your concerns so that they will be easier to speak about at the end. Expressing gratitude for the other person is another great way to honor the end of the relationship.

Practice to end respectfully: • Share what you’ve gained out of the relationship and the reasons why you enjoyed being with the other person.