Splitting up is difficult, especially if perhaps you weren’t usually the one to initiate the split. Whether you are hoping to produce a rocky relationship work after investing a while aside or are hoping that the ex will reconsider their choice to finish things, there are particular cardinal errors if you want to eventually get back together with a former partner that you should never make.

INSIDER talked to psychologists and practitioners to find out what you ought to avoid doing after and during a breakup in the event that you nevertheless desire to be together with your ex.

You speak adversely regarding your ex to friends that are mutual

We are all human being so we all need certainly to vent. But bad-mouthing your ex partner could sabotage your time and efforts to reconnect along with your previous partner.

“Destroying your ex lover’s image within the eyes of other people can make an unforgivable resentment towards you, that will block the way of any try to reconstruct the relationship,” marriage and family members therapist Dr. Talal H. Alsaleem told INSIDER.

You spoke in anger and may be less supportive of your renewed relationship if you ever rekindle a romance with your former partner, your mutual friends won’t forget all the harsh words.

“that you want to say about them that are unfavorable, vent to just those people who know that they will keep it confidential,” advised dating coach Joann Cohen if you have things.

You attempt to romantically pursue one of the ex’s friends

Through your relationship, your former partner’s buddies were clearly off limitations. Nonetheless, you’ve probably forged strong bonds with them which may result in appearing intimate emotions following the end of one’s relationship.

“While it is not infidelity if you should be really split up, here is the ultimate no-no for any partner who desires an additional (or 3rd) possibility,” psychologist and relationship specialist Adi Jaffe , Ph.D., told INSIDER.